for easy creagting i would suggest to use geoserver, openlayers and some customizing on the HTML-Document. What you can achive can be seen here (i have done this in less the 12hours)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQaUW_S5GUU
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best regards,
riccardo from kiel
i`ve installed arcgis server 9.3 on nearly same config. so normally you just need a proper port and IP. Do you use the IIS or apache as sevrer???
are you behind some kind of firewall?
my server was running on something like this: http://machine.gu-berlin.de:1234/servicename