for hosting, you definietly need a dedicated server for that, a spatial web server request need a high resource
Im not really into in Map server, some comparison i found on wiki :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_geographic_information_systems_software#Map_servers
in general, gis de facto is ESRI, so if you have the budget, then ArcGIS Server is the best choise, but in my opinion, any descent map server like you mentioned can serve most mapping function you needed,
for me, Im now learning mapserver, its open source and in my country we have many tutorial books for this stuff